I haven’t written anything here in a while.
Its been too long since I’ve shared myself with you.
My heart is heavy.
At this moment, I know EXACTLY what I want and where I want to be, but the reality of it is… I can’t move. I’m stuck.
How and Where?
I’m stuck in my own reality…
I’m stuck in a place where I have love for the person that I’m with but I am f a l l i n g for the affections of someone else.
I don’t know how I got here.
How did I allow myself to be in this predicament?
Why did I open my heart to someone else without first removing myself from the situation that I am in?
I can’t answer those questions… I’ll leave them for the universe.
What I will say is this.
I love him.
He is who I belong with.
By being with someone only out of fear I am ultimately hindering the chance of either of us being with the (people) with whom we belong.
and Life is TOO short.
I lived.
I loved.
I did.
I’ve done.
but AM.I.FINISHED?
Is it time for me to move on?

Has this cycle of my life ended?

Have I left an impression?

I am NOT finished.

It is… It has… and I will…

If you have never been here, you probably won’t understand.  You’ll most likely say I’m wrong for feeling this way, but am I? Am I wrong for wanting to follow my HEART, or am I wrong for caring about his feelings and not wanting to see him hurt? Where in this scenario did I start going wrong? Was it when I realized that MY happiness is just as important as those around me? 

Women aren’t allowed to care about THEMSELVES… It is normal for a mother, wife, friend, confidant, maid, nurse, chef, beautician, barber,preacher, teacher, taxi, coach to care for EVERY.ONE.ELSE., but what happens when she starts to care for herself as well?   What if she follows HER heart? 

Will I be frowned upon?  Probably…

Will people talk about me behind my back? They already do…

but will I be HAPPY? … I think so… and right now, that is most important to me!

I am a mother and being unhappy is not an option.  I will not sacrifice my happiness for that of another person anymore.  I will be the person that I want my children to grow up and be.  I will live MY life, and I will regret not a thing.  I will follow my dreams. My heart. The light. The warmth. and I will be Happy.

The end.

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