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Let me just start by saying, NO ONE is perfect.

In relationships or anything else in life, no one is perfect.  Love is blinding and confusing and scary and most people wouldn’t know TRUE love if it bit em in the ass.

I know I’ve made mistakes and continue to do so, but I learn from my mistakes and take those lessons with me throughout life.  I’m not saying I never make the same mistake twice, because I do. I’m only human.

What I’ve learned about love is that; it never goes away…

TRUE LOVE, never fades… never faulters… it’s constant.

People change, but the love does not.

Often times relationships end because two people have grown apart, their paths may be leading them in different directions, they may argue and disagree too often, etc. Things happen and people change and relationships end but the LOVE does not!!!!

I’ve been IN LOVE maybe 4 times in my life… and I still love those men, I wouldn’t ever deny what I feel for them because it’s real… it’s TRUE.

I’m no longer in love with many of them but I do have love for ALL of them… they are my constant.

I just hope, that in my lifetime and in theirs, there will be forgiveness from me to them and vice versa for whatever it is that led us astray.  This was on my heart so I shared.

Peace and most of all LOVE.



The Kid with the Golden Pen: Kid Daytona

I couldn’t WAIT to talk about the new KID on the block… Like, literally… ON THE BLOCK!!! Bronx born and raised The Kid Daytona has earned himself a new fan (or 3) in myself, and my good friends Patricia and Kaela ; when we saw him perform first hand, up close and personal; we couldn’t HELP but fall in LUST with this smooth talking, mellow voice having, young, high, dumb fly brother from NYC . 

Seriously tho, this man has something to say and I can tell by the passion and intensity in which he writes his lyrics. He’s been thru some things and wants to share his story. I’m down, I wanna hear it.

Working with artists such as Jae Mills, Jada Kiss, Melanie Fiona and more he got his start battle rapping randoms on the streets of New York; one of them being Lord Tariq, helping him realize that rapping; freestyling; story telling was his new way of life.  His newest LP dropping TODAY (August 20, 2012) entitled “Summer Games: The Kid with the Golden Pen” produced in part by 9th Wonder, Bink, Sarah J and more. This LP has been much anticipated and is finally HERE…

If you don’t know who The Kid Daytona is, get up on your get down and Download the new album HERE!

(Interview coming soon)

While You Were Fcuking…

It’s hard being a woman sometimes. I’m not sure if men have the same body image issues as we do but if so…. more power to em.  I swear, because as I lay back… ready to recieve him into me. After 20 minutes of foreplay, licking, sucking, stroking every inch of each other; I’m ready to “get it in”!!! Like….. seriously soaking the sheets, “Your body’s calling me”, R Kelly “12 play” type shit…. And as I lay there, I look down…. and one of my titties is leaning to the right, the other one perfectly positioned on my chest. 0_0

So I re-position my torso making BOTH breasts at least APPEAR to be looking the same direction…. I look up at his face to see if he noticed what I was doing (he most likely wouldn’t notice if my head were chopped off at this point, but whatever…), I look back down at my tits to make sure they’re still at attention and refocus on the task at hand, Getting me and my man’s nut poppin off!!!!  I get my mind back right, pussy get to pulsating again, I’m moaning and dripping… He’s leaking and twisting… when I realize the hair on my vagina is growing back a little bit!!!! FUCK!!!!!!! Are the little prickly hairs poking him? Can he feel them when I grind on him? Is he secretly in excruciating pain right now because of my unshaven snatch? SHIT!!!!!!!!! Why didn’t I shave again when I were just in the shower? It would’ve taken like 30 seconds…. Grrrrrrrrrr…. I’m such an idiot!!!! So I get to rubbing my pussy to see if the hairs are uncomfortable on my hand. They don’t feel brittle, it’s barely ANY hair there but I keep my hand between my pussy and his stomach each time I grind forward just to be safe. 0_o

Meanwhile…… He’s steadily stroking and moaning and doesn’t notice ANYTHING!!!!

I get back into the swing of things…. making sure we’re in sync…. In perfect rhythm with one another…. I lock my legs around his waist and he flips me over so now I’m on top and in control.  I love riding a dick.  I mean… its my FAVORITE position because I can control when and how I cum.  Who doesn’t like being in control?  I get my stroke right… just how I like it, leaning forward a little and gyrating on the head of his penis (he likes that) when I notice my titties hanging over his face….. JEEZUS, MARY AND JOSEPH!!!!!! Thank GOD his eyes are closed because this can NOT be sexy!!!!! *sigh* My little breasts after having children are a tad bit “floppy” at times and have a mind of their own…. but why they gotta hang all low while I’m tryna get my sexy on???

Whatever…. I sit up straight and take my left arm draping it over both breasts, using my hand to play with my right nipple…. That way he doesn’t notice me holding my titties in place as I ride him, he just thinks I’m being freaky!! >_<

So I’m riding the dick…. eyes closed…. head leaning back…. he smacks my ass pushing me forward and knocking my titties OUT of my hand (so now they’re hanging again) I have to catch myself from falling forward so I can’t grab em and stop em from smacking him in the face.  I look down and now I see my stomach (which is NOT sexy when you’re on all fours) and I try to suck it in.  He’s holding me now…. giving me the “D”…. Breathing heavy….. about to cum….. My unshaven hairs are rubbing against his crotch and I can’t put my hand there to intercept the friction…. My titties are hanging…. Stomach not sucked in…. Hair sweated out and flying all over…..

and yet…….. he came…….. I came…….. and at the end of it all, neither one of us gave a fuck about all that bullshit body image crap.  We lay there out of breath for a minute before we kissed, cleaned ourselves up, and drifted off to sleep.



My Milkshake Brings All the Boys to the (BACK)yard???

It’s obviously something in a woman’s asshole that holds the secrets of the universe, Blackbeard’s treasure, or Is it where rainbows and unicorns meet… I don’t know; but the thought of penetrating a woman’s asshole entices every man! Most men don’t talk to you about it, they don’t lube up the asshole and prepare you for it, they like to try and sneak POP the dick in like you’re not gonna notice.  First of all, how could I not notice a penis being jabbed into my booty?? and second do you REALLY think that a surprise like that is gonna help loosen the asshole to a point where u can actually get it in?? Ummmm… NO!! If anything, now I’m tense, my reflexes are squeezing my booty hole shut, I’m slightly turned off, and my pussy is now on the verge of drying up.

We started out kissing, you licking up my spine, down my neck to my breasts… circling my nipples with your tongue, travel down my abdomen to the peak of my waiting vagina… sucking, slurping, spitting on the pussy until its dripping wet and ready to take you in… Then pop goes the weasel IN MY ASS!!!

But wait…. you did NOTHING to prepare me nor my ASS for this little “surprise”.  You spent ample time getting EVERYTHING else wet; only to penetrate the ONE place that (a) I DON’T want poked and (b) you didn’t lubricate. I mean… WHAT IN ALL THE FUCKS could you be thinking? Don’t say it was a mistake, Don’t pretend like you ACCIDENTALLY shoved it in there and Don’t try to keep stroking once you feel me jerk and twist away from your crazy ass!!

I’m not saying that women hate anal sex, because there are  plenty of women out there who love it.  But I can guarantee that NO woman likes being surprised with a dick in the ass (you can quote me on that one).

Well…. now that I’ve gotten that off my chest…. Until next time, keep ur dick OUT OF my ass unless I ask you to put it there.



Moving Forward…

All I can do at this point is continue to transition my life into what I wish for it to be.  With no attachments I can take the time I need to take.  Although, I’d love to have my friend, I can do it alone; no doubt.  but it hurts… like 2 hearts that have been stitched together, then RIPPED apart…. It hurts!!!

I feel like I’m planning a betrayal of sorts… Like I’m plotting out an evil scheme. That couldn’t be further from the truth, I’m making changes that NEED to be made in order to for ME to be happy!!!!

There is but ONE person I can honestly see in my future… when my children have grown up and left home… when my mom is too old to keep me company… friends too preoccupied to look my way… If only he could be as patient as I.  If only he knew my heart’s intent.

I feel as though I’m losing everything I’m working toward AS I work for it… like Im moving backward as I walk forward.  All I can do, is continue to build my life, and have faith that I’ll end up with the person with whom I belong… whether it’s “he” or not. Perhaps I haven’t met him yet, Maybe I have and just don’t recognize his worth yet… either way; Im just looking and working toward my happiness…

As I work… I have to pray I lose what I have at this moment… Lose the obsession, the friendship, the love, the discord, the history, the pain, the joy, the hurt and anticipation, the dreams of tomorrow, I need to lose EVERYTHING we wanted, EVERYTHING we talked about…  I just need to lose all of it, start over.  I can’t live in silence with him… exiled from him… any longer.  Its either all or nothing and at this moment….. its nothing; so in return, its nothing from me!! It hurts; but gets easier as time passes… Soon enough, it’ll all just be a memory. Its up to me to determine whether that memory is good or bad!!

To Be Continued….


Chest pains…

What do you do when your “heart”  has given up on you… and it hurts to breathe…?
Not your heart in the literal sense, but the human form of the word. Whether it be your man, woman, mom, dad, children… Etc.
How can one function without a heart…? You can’t.

To Be Continued…

We will NEVER forget?!?!

I’ve been debating for about a week or so, what to write in tribute to Sepetmeber 11, 2001. That day was traumatic, to say the least and in the wake of traumatic experiences we tend to block things from memory. I’m not a doctor or scientist or anything of the sort but in MY (non) expert opinion, I believe our brains do that to protect us from going thru that pain OVER & OVER & OVER again, reliving the trauma in our minds and the emotional stress of it all chipping away at us, until we’re left mere shells of our former selves.
I didn’t actually realize this until watching TLC this weekend and finding myself emotionally OVERWHELMED within 20 minutes of the show (“Heroes of the 88th floor”). I literally had to take an anxiety pill to help me calm down. I couldn’t watch anymore, I had to let it go.

I said all of that to say this, Do we REALLY need to actually REMEMBER?
YES, we should ALWAYS remember and NEVER forget those who lost their lives and the families and people it affected, but do we have to be reminded of the devastation? The people covered in ash, the screams, the darkness?
Im sorry, I don’t want to remember that… Just like I don’t enjoy watching SLAVE movies, nor would I ever want to watch an actual ASSAULT, or RAPE live and in progress, I don’t want to continuously be reminded of the feeling I had on THIS day 10 years ago!!! Just typing this and recalling in memory the way I felt, makes my stomach weak.
The way I’d like to remember is by remembering the PEOPLE… thats what its about. The people that were lost. Not to be continuously reminded of how we were essentially RAPED and ASSAULTED and left SLAVES of our own fault… enslaved by those WE trained and in the end WE lose!!
I don’t want to remember… Let me forget!!

Go to:,2933,62151,00.html for a list of those lost on September 11, 2001.

For Tracy…

I could tell today would be different when I woke up this morning.  The air moving through my room was thick and hot, making my wife beater cling to my breasts like saran wrap, nipples perky and peeking through like I had entered a wet T-shirt contest. My boyshorts wedged between my thighs, hugging my pussy like a jock strap.

There was a knock at the door, It’s only 8am and I’m not expecting anyone… so I hesitate opening, allowing the weed smoke to subside from the wake & bake I was indulging myself in.  I peep through the peep hole and that’s when I saw her for the first time.  Skin the color of English toffee, big beautiful eyes graced with lashes that reminded me of butterfly wings, long and airy… but her lips… her lips were supple and pink. I could only imagine how they tasted or how they would feel against mine, hips and thighs thick like cornbread, making my mouth water.  By this time a couple minutes had passed, so she stepped back and smiled as if she knew I was watching and she was allowing me to see EVERYTHING… She was teasing me, so I opened up…

Not sure what she was thinking but all I could seem to say was “YES!”… of course she thought it was a question, but in my mind it was the answer.

“Im Tracy, your new neighbor… Im sorry to trouble you, but my puppy seemed to have slipped under your fence, have you seen her?” she said with a smile…

As she handed me the photo, I couldn’t help but to tell her she was gorgeous… she  blushed as she fluffed her honey blonde fro with her fingers. “Thanks, so are you…”

I could feel my breath getting shallow and the blood rushed to my head, I felt like I was high in her presence. I asked her to come in and she happily obliged.

I offered her a mimosa, she accepted and immediatley started chatting about her reasons for moving to the area and other personal issues I cared NOTHING about… but I could sit and stare at her lips for hours, so I humored her and stayed quiet as she spoke. After our 4th glass of wine, I was feeling a little forward so I asked her to come to my room.

“I can get dressed and we can finish our conversation…” I said

She followed without hesitation…

As we stepped into my room the same muggy summer heat engulfed me like I had walked into the Sahara. So I opened a window… and she kissed me! Just as the wind blew the curtains open as if it had whispered my fantasies in her ear.  The breeze revealed my secrets, so I kissed her back to confirm they were true.

Her lips tasted of sweet, ripe, mango and just as juicy.  I couldn’t hold back, it was like my body was craving hers… Like I was dehydrated and she was H2O… I NEEDED IT!

I laid her back on my bed (still messy and unmade) and lifter her dress. As I slid underneath and ran my nose from her cunt to her neck, breathing her scent into me and holding my breath.  I felt her exhale and the sound of her breathing made me want her more. I had never been with a woman and hadn’t had sex with a man in 6 months, but it was something about her…

I knew today would be different…

I pulled her panties down to her feet and licked up her leg to her thigh and back down the other side. My tongue danced all over her body, to her stomach, circling her nipples and up to her neck, but I saved the best for last…

I sucked and kissed my way back down her torso to the sweet nectar that was waiting between her legs. 

She moaned and squirmed… Squirmed and moaned, getting louder as I got closer to where she wanted me to be.

I reached my final desitnation and landed on her clit, my lips surrounding it. I sucked and flicked it with my tongue… I spread her lips, and with my mouth around her pussy, I sucked and sopped her juices up with my tongue like a bird in a bird bath.

I could tell by her moans that she liked it.  She grabbed at the sheets and pulled her hair.  So I kissed her lips like she had kissed mine earlier… but these lips had juices creeping down her thigh… I cupped my tongue and licked up every drip as not to waste a drop… she was priceless… her juices like melted gold, I wanted all of it!!

As my lips found its way back to her sweet spot I slid my fingers in and sucked her clit like a cherry straight off the tree.  I pushed my fingers deeper as she thrust her hips forward pushing her pussy in my mouth… pushing back and forth quicker and harder.  Her breaths getting farther apart and moans growing louder… I sucked her clit and licked her front to back tasting ALL OF HER!!

Her legs began to shake and lift off the bed.  Her pussy swollen and gaping open like it was asking for me.  She screamed and like the leavies had broken, I was drowned in her.

Her body shaking uncontrollably as I kissed down her thigh.  She giggled… breathing out as if her orgasm was a relief, she looked down at me drunk with pleasure. 

“Now its your turn” she said, pulling me down to the bed and ripping my soaked boyshorts down past my hips… tasting, licking, and drinking me in like vitamin water…

I KNEW today would be different!!